A Mother's Pain: The Other Side of the Game

There are times when this blogging can become a bit of a burden. For all my attempts to come up with informative and sometimes amusing tidbits from around the city, there are times like now when I have to delve into more serious territory and a high degree of sensitivity and tact are required. Such is the case today, as two separate incidents have taken place in my native Roseland community. The first of these incidents is the murder of 16 year old Fred Couch Jr. on December 30, 2009. In all honesty, when I first heard of this incident I didn't give it much attention as the victim's criminal history was well documented in the media. While I'm always saddened to hear of a young person losing their life to violence, disclosure of a person's background can have the effect of desensitizing you to their ultimate demise. This began to change for me when I learned his accused killer was a 42 year old parolee.

According to published reports, Couch and two of his friends exchanged words and menacing looks with the older man before he returned and open fired on the trio. "Little Fred", as he was affectionately referred to by family, was left laying on his back, fighting for his life as his blood oozed into the snow beneath him. This begged the immediate and obvious question: why would a 42 year old man gun down a 16 year old boy in cold blood? His mother later reached out to a friend of mine that operates a non profit for youth in Roseland, seeking help with funeral expenses. I can't imagine the pain she must feel having to deal not only with the loss of her child but the indignity of needing assistance in burying him. What really brought this home for me though, was seeing the graphic surveillance footage of Fred's shooting.

Lasting all of 32 seconds, the video, which can be seen at http://www.chicagotribune.com/videobeta/watch/?watch=2765fa2c-a221-49db-8bfb-667d87384781 , shows in agonizing detail how he was shot as he laid face down in the snow. He managed to turn his body slightly before finally collapsing face up, his arms outstretched. We often hear these stories and develop a numbness, a callous apathy out of hearing these kind of stories on a daily basis. To see such utter disregard for human life with our own eyes is another experience entirely. It's hard to fathom how someone can be so brutal and be on the street. The second local incident, however, hit much closer to home for me.

There was a high profile incident that happened within a few blocks of where I grew up at that I will not get into details about out of respect for the families involved. In this case, I knew the offender personally, as we grew up on the same block, though he was my senior by over 10 years. He had a history of arrests, mostly for theft and the like, but nothing that would foreshadow the heinous crime he would be tied to at the offset of this year. The last time that I saw him was this past spring. He looked positive and upbeat, was clean cut, and with a mutual acquaintance from the neighborhood. When I asked what they were doing together (she was a few years younger than me) I learned that they were recently married. I couldn't be happier for them. They seemed genuinely happy together and he seemed to be finally headed on the right track. Then, I learned, old habits truly die hard.

I would see this person, whom I hadn't seen for at least the previous 10 years, around the neighborhood, working for an established landscaper. Everything appeared to be heading up for him until I recently got word from my older brother that caused me great concern. The initial word that he was told is that this guy murdered his wife, whom I had also known most my life. It took a couple of days but the real story surfaced and it wasn't much better. All I will say is that this man had a history of drug problems that reared its head in a very gruesome fashion. The part that's tough for me personally is that I know not only him but his family as well. His mother and brothers lived within doors of my childhood home. Our mothers were friends, both working for the Chicago Public Schools. As far as I could see, she did all she could as a mother, but ultimately every person chooses their own path in life. As a father, this causes a great deal of concern for me. All any parent has at their disposal is the familiar tools of love, discipline, and faith. You can show your child all the best and hope that is what they will follow as they grow and mature. The rest, I suppose, you have to give over to God.

What a tangle web we weave....

Here's one for the books...



Under the "I couldn't possibly make this stuff up" category comes a story

out of Chilton, Wisconsin. Yeah, I know this blog is supposed to be about

the Chicago area, but it's my my blog. Wanna make something of it? Yeah, well anyway,

a 37 year old man found himself, ummm.... glued to himself after being lured to

a motel by a girlfriend that conspired with his wife and 2 other lovers. It would be easy

to go in on this dude with so many punchlines, but imagine the humiliation he must've felt. What

about going to the bathroom? What about roomservice? How do you explain being tied to the bed

and...uh, stuck to himself. Tell you what it is: got that Tiger fever...

Change gon' come...

In the short span of time since I last posted an entry (16 months to be exact) there were a lot of things I could have commented on. R. Kelly miraculously beat his case, our former Governor was ousted from office due to scandal, and numerous school kids have been the victims of senseless shootings. Nothing has caught my attention, however, as much as the utterly senseless slaughter of Derrion Albert. This past Thursday ( October 24th, 2009), a mob of Fenger High School students converged blocks away from the school for an all out battle, apparently over neighborhood bragging rights. During the melee, a student was struck in the head with what appeared to be a wooden plank. When he regained conciousness, he rose to his feet only to be punched in the face. From there, I guess, the rest is history. What happened from that point went on to make world wide news and even prompt noted MC Nas to write an open letter to inner city youths. Several things trouble me about this whole ordeal. First of all, this happened a few blocks away from where I grew up. In fact, the center that they were fighting in front of is where I used to play ball as a kid. For the most part, the area is pretty peaceful, but over the last few months it's taken a change for the worst. My daughter goes to school in the neighborhood and a former schoolmate of hers, Toccara Swain, was shot just two blocks away from the scene of the fight two months ago. The second thing I find troubling is that this incident clearly illustrates the mindset of black youth today, in that they equate violence with manhood. These boys beat Derrion with fists, feet, and wood planks when he wasn't in a position to defend himself. I can think of any arena where this would be considered anything other than cowardly, but this is not how alot of youngsters think now a days. I have to give it up to Nas. I think his heart was in the right place, I just am not sure if his words will truly be heard as this is the "Souljah Boy" generation and many kids have no idea what Illmatic was. The solution is simple but not easy, I believe. We as a community can not wait for Mayor Daley or Jody Weis to solve our problems. We have to become more involved in the lives of our young people. Clearly, many parents are not on their job, so it's up to us to fill the void. Like my good friend Dr. Groove said, you may have a good kid, but that bad kid could be the one that kills them. We've got to take responsibility for our community and change our mindset. There's a reason why we were afraid to do alot of stuff as kids; we knew we'd have the whole block on our tails. There's no longer that level of accountability, as many people don't even know their neighbors. Ultimately, the brunt of the work is destined to be shouldered by the dedicated few. Still in all, everybody CAN and SHOULD do something. NO ONE CAN DO EVERYTHING, BUT EVERYBODY CAN DO SOMETHING. Only the fate of our community rests in the balance. No pressure people...

Cutting the Cord

So it's come to this.

A year and a half into my tenure at a leading Chicago law firm, I find myself on the wrong side of the paradigm many call 'the American Dream'. Disillusioned by the fatal combination of low wages and no reasonable prospects of upward social mobility, today I've made a life changing decision. Today, this 6th day of June 2008, I have officially cut the cord. No longer will I be a wage slave living on the fringes of corporate America. Starting now, my work will consist of developing Brand ME. As I write this, I'm subconsciously contemplating the stages that have led me to this epiphany; life, death, self discovery, rebirth. See the problem is, I know my worth. No one can sit behind a desk and put a dollar value on me. I've been to the puppet show and have seen the strings. I realize to get to where I want to go, I have to make my own breaks. Which has led me into the world of blogging.

Up until a couple of years ago, I didn't know what blogging was about. Beyond that, I haven't had the slightest interest in finding out. I'm generally a 'meat and potatoes' kind of internet user. I usually check my email and make my way over to ESPN and maybe a couple of music sites. I'm not a facebook or myspace user, I don't chat, and until recently, I hadn't had any inclination to debate with anyone over the internet. This changed after responding to some posts on a message board following a story on Suntimes.com.

There were a couple of things that stood out for me during that experience. First, I entered the fray in a decidely non confrontational posture, only to be attacked by a couple of people that characterized me as 'a liberal fool'. What I gathered from this is that there are people that are highly passionate about their positions on issues and will literally 'start a fight in a phonebooth'. That's a good thing. I don't look for everyone to share my opinions and I think a little debate is healthy and necessary for the advancement of all that is good. The second lesson I learned from this little excursion is message boards, and blogs by extension, are truly the wave of the future. Okay, so I'm a little behind the curve. I get there, though. That's what's important. So I give you this, my first installment of Windy City Crimes. Here, we'll be examining all things shady and sinister in the 'Chi'. Strap on your seat belt and take a ride through the city that brought you Al Capone, Jeff Fort and Richard Daley (ha!). It'll be fun...