A Mother's Pain: The Other Side of the Game

There are times when this blogging can become a bit of a burden. For all my attempts to come up with informative and sometimes amusing tidbits from around the city, there are times like now when I have to delve into more serious territory and a high degree of sensitivity and tact are required. Such is the case today, as two separate incidents have taken place in my native Roseland community. The first of these incidents is the murder of 16 year old Fred Couch Jr. on December 30, 2009. In all honesty, when I first heard of this incident I didn't give it much attention as the victim's criminal history was well documented in the media. While I'm always saddened to hear of a young person losing their life to violence, disclosure of a person's background can have the effect of desensitizing you to their ultimate demise. This began to change for me when I learned his accused killer was a 42 year old parolee.

According to published reports, Couch and two of his friends exchanged words and menacing looks with the older man before he returned and open fired on the trio. "Little Fred", as he was affectionately referred to by family, was left laying on his back, fighting for his life as his blood oozed into the snow beneath him. This begged the immediate and obvious question: why would a 42 year old man gun down a 16 year old boy in cold blood? His mother later reached out to a friend of mine that operates a non profit for youth in Roseland, seeking help with funeral expenses. I can't imagine the pain she must feel having to deal not only with the loss of her child but the indignity of needing assistance in burying him. What really brought this home for me though, was seeing the graphic surveillance footage of Fred's shooting.

Lasting all of 32 seconds, the video, which can be seen at http://www.chicagotribune.com/videobeta/watch/?watch=2765fa2c-a221-49db-8bfb-667d87384781 , shows in agonizing detail how he was shot as he laid face down in the snow. He managed to turn his body slightly before finally collapsing face up, his arms outstretched. We often hear these stories and develop a numbness, a callous apathy out of hearing these kind of stories on a daily basis. To see such utter disregard for human life with our own eyes is another experience entirely. It's hard to fathom how someone can be so brutal and be on the street. The second local incident, however, hit much closer to home for me.

There was a high profile incident that happened within a few blocks of where I grew up at that I will not get into details about out of respect for the families involved. In this case, I knew the offender personally, as we grew up on the same block, though he was my senior by over 10 years. He had a history of arrests, mostly for theft and the like, but nothing that would foreshadow the heinous crime he would be tied to at the offset of this year. The last time that I saw him was this past spring. He looked positive and upbeat, was clean cut, and with a mutual acquaintance from the neighborhood. When I asked what they were doing together (she was a few years younger than me) I learned that they were recently married. I couldn't be happier for them. They seemed genuinely happy together and he seemed to be finally headed on the right track. Then, I learned, old habits truly die hard.

I would see this person, whom I hadn't seen for at least the previous 10 years, around the neighborhood, working for an established landscaper. Everything appeared to be heading up for him until I recently got word from my older brother that caused me great concern. The initial word that he was told is that this guy murdered his wife, whom I had also known most my life. It took a couple of days but the real story surfaced and it wasn't much better. All I will say is that this man had a history of drug problems that reared its head in a very gruesome fashion. The part that's tough for me personally is that I know not only him but his family as well. His mother and brothers lived within doors of my childhood home. Our mothers were friends, both working for the Chicago Public Schools. As far as I could see, she did all she could as a mother, but ultimately every person chooses their own path in life. As a father, this causes a great deal of concern for me. All any parent has at their disposal is the familiar tools of love, discipline, and faith. You can show your child all the best and hope that is what they will follow as they grow and mature. The rest, I suppose, you have to give over to God.